Overdose on Love painkiller

I miss the nights you slept beside me , your warm embrace and the feeling I won you. Even though it was brief, I just miss you so much. Why are we three years apart, I wish reality wasn't so harsh. If I could go back to the days of camp, where reality did not exist. Those two weeks are the happiest weeks I have experienced in many years. Why did u have to mess with my heart and then throw it away! I'm scared I'm going to develop love for you because I can't stop thinking about you. Neither can I stop talking about you infront of my friends. What should I do! The more I try to forget you the more I miss you and want u by my side again! Even if it is just for a few mins again. My heart aches don't you understand. Your cold attitude to me online .. Is it your way of pushing me away! Or was I just a game to you! I don't understand you at all! I hate you but love u ! Can someone give me a love pain killer that I can overdose on so I can forget you emotionally !

September 6th - Life update

So its been two days since I've officially moved into my new room in the student house I shall be living in for my first year at University. This year has defiantly started much more positive than last year, since I've become more out going and confident with socialising at social events. Last night, a flat party with thrown at halls and with my new attitude of 'trying to embrace everything during first year',  I had the best time meeting new people  and initiating conversations with other freshers. It amazing how a self introduction can lead to a strong, well rounded conversation with others, as well as leave a positive first impression.  With more parties and events lined up for the months to come, hopefully I can make my freshers year a replication of the time I had at camp. New friends, Amazing nights out, Lasting memories and wild stories to tell.


There are still times I think of the previous boys I've had a crush/ relationship with, Y and A most recently. I was watching a short film by Buzzfeedyellow. The first short film i watched was about abusive relationships especially between a lesbian couple. A lesbian couple and straight couple ( both friends) go on a weekend trip together. There was a scene where the straight couple were making out, I couldn't help but remember how Y and I kissed. That short, sweet intimate moment together that I miss. The second short film was acted by the same straight actors, this time the story was about how the girlfriend was previously rapped and she sees the rapist at coffee shop. Her struggle to overcome the incident and move on with life is represented through her expressions. This soon leads to a breakdown in how she is able to interact with others, as well as her male colleges and boyfriend. In the end, she is able to talk about her emotions and put an end to the traumatising rape incident. It really highlights the reality of how it can happen to any girl, and how its important to surround yourself with people that help keep you grounded. I particularly found the scenes where she took the courage to tell her boyfriend of the incident, it shows the strong trust and bond they have for each other. Im writing about these shorts films and not more of my soppy romance stories because I was intrigued at the high level of attention to detail; the director and scriptwriter has put in to make this film realistic and 'close to home'. There was no fairy tale ending or typical Hollywood romantic scenes, just pure reality. I would definitely recommend you watch them as the storyline is very intriguing from the start and raises many questions about the youth society of today.

Message to Will Yang

I hope you are happy with your girlfriend, I will never forget our short love and time together.
One thing I will never understand is why u got a gf mid- July, camp starts and two weeks later you cheat on your girlfriend with me. Do u really love her? You keep mentioning the existence of your gf, but I see no evidence of this apart from what you tell me! So was my love a game to you! Why did u act the way u did when we sat at the back of the coach together. I wish I could go back in time and relive the moment I put my head on your shoulder and you placed your jumper on me when I felt cold. That is the Y I miss and want. Not the Y, who is distancing me and acting cold to me on Facebook and snapchat! The way u opened your cold personality to me and told me your feelings shows your true personality deep down.

I just hope your lying next to somebody who knows how to love you like me. 再见💋

梦想 - Dreams

最近常常think of Y, 如果之前有看我去广州的blog post ，就会知道Y 是谁。最近听着 Chainsmokers 的新歌叫 Closer. 让我又think of Y⋯ 我同他之前的开心时光和回忆。

想forget 他，但是…做不到…
只可以在这里写出我的心情！好想又一起看到他，同他一起分享对方的开心和难过的事情，在床上感觉对方的温暖的拥抱！

现在我之可以继续追逐我时装设计的梦想，而且我希望他学习成功，也同女朋友幸福快乐！你笑的时候真很帅！